Hey there, glad you're taking time to read this. I'll cut straight to the chase. I'm depressed. A close friend of mine fucked me over for God knows what time, a girl i liked and wasted hundreds of dollars on turned out to be a total...you know, i wont disrespect her. I'm thankful that i met her. I both love her and hate her at the same time. The dude that screwed me over keeps playing these mind games with me. Whenever his friends aren't there for him, he always turns to me. I act dumb, but play smart. Im extremely loyal to friends. Anyways. Two whole days in a row the guy talked with me. Pretending to be a friend. But the second a buddy if his called him on the other side of the street, he just left me there. He didn't even want me to come with them. Okay. He might've wanted privacy. But 6 fucking days later he hasn't even texted me to play some GTA or CoD. Or even Fortnite, which i know he loves. I went all the way to buy an accout just so i don't embarras him in front of other people by not having any characters. The girl on the other hand, i bought her a bracelet for her birthday. It wasn't anything special, but I'm broke af and it was all i could afford. I worked at a food store for a few months, just so i could afford it. Just to find out her "closer friend" bought her a gold necklace, and her writing a post that she's selling the bracelet i gave her. I'm wondering if i should end it all. I'm at such an early stage of my life (thats not my real age there — I'm 18). I drank a lot... I don't even wanna watch porn or jack it anymore. The reason i started working at that store was originally to find a place for myself and my future wife, even though i didn't have one. I cried listening to Drake's song "Marvin's room". It's so relatable. Almost too relatable. Now that im more broke than ever i don't know what to do with myself. My parents consider me a failure and im ready to put my lights out. I guess depression's got the better of me.
Dear Admin, please don't delete this post as i need to talk with someone. My grandma is sick of hearing negative **** from me. She says im her favorite grandson because no matter what happened, i always pushed forward. It'd break her heart if i offed myself. Then again, this might be the depression speaking, i guess I'll get better. But is it worth it? I know life is a precious gift when given, but some people get dealt cards that they just can't deal with. My inspiration is rap music. I can't live without it. There are many times when Pep Love or Juice Wrld (God rest his soul), or any other rapper has left a message that makes me think that i can push through. Take a look at Meek Mill. He pushed through prison, he got out of the streets, now living the good life. Travis Scott is also one that is inspiring me. My brother once asked me "How does this guy inspire you? He literally talks about money, women, money, cars and flexes. Don't know what message you see in this dumbass". I replied "He doesn't even know we both exist lil bro. If i go today, he wouldn't give a single flying f*ck. I'm just one of those people destined to live a 9 to 5 life. I can't live extraordinary. Everywhere i go, i show loyalty, therefore people take me for given. They treat me like ***, and when i stand up for myself, suddenly I'm the jerk. I try and act neutral, im the boring weird fatass. If i act like myself, I'm weird, I'm unfunny and I'm probably the one that they'll most likely betray. Hold up... Someone's knocking on my door. Okay, I'm back. It was that dude from the beginning of the post. He came to me asking for a fight. Apparently someone had spread rumors i talked behind his back. I incisted on him coming in for a beer and stuff. The guy broke my beer glass. It was a gift from my aunt... We talked. I told him it was all fake talk. He didn't believe a single word. I stood up for myself and said "Well instead of running away this time, again, just tell me you hate me, you don't want me as a friend and fucking get it over with. If you tell all that, it'll hurt much less than if you just gave me the silent treatment, like you did all those times before." He stood up smashed it in the ground and went away. I didn't even shout the thing. I said it calmly, just so i keep the friend vibe... I... I think i shouldn't post this. Maybe i will... Maybe i won't... If you made it this far, thank you, Internet Stranger. No, i really do. It means a lot to me you took the time to read this thing. I know people are gonna think I'm a coward and such. Okay. Think of it like that. I can't stop you from thinking a certain way. I respect every single opinion. Even if i disagree with it. I'll take the time to talk with random people in need. I even play videogames with some. If you're in the mood to talk or play, comment down. I'll give you my usernames and stuff.
Dear Admin, please don't delete this post as i need to talk with someone. My grandma is sick of hearing negative **** from me. She says im her favorite grandson because no matter what happened, i always pushed forward. It'd break her heart if i offed myself. Then again, this might be the depression speaking, i guess I'll get better. But is it worth it? I know life is a precious gift when given, but some people get dealt cards that they just can't deal with. My inspiration is rap music. I can't live without it. There are many times when Pep Love or Juice Wrld (God rest his soul), or any other rapper has left a message that makes me think that i can push through. Take a look at Meek Mill. He pushed through prison, he got out of the streets, now living the good life. Travis Scott is also one that is inspiring me. My brother once asked me "How does this guy inspire you? He literally talks about money, women, money, cars and flexes. Don't know what message you see in this dumbass". I replied "He doesn't even know we both exist lil bro. If i go today, he wouldn't give a single flying f*ck. I'm just one of those people destined to live a 9 to 5 life. I can't live extraordinary. Everywhere i go, i show loyalty, therefore people take me for given. They treat me like ***, and when i stand up for myself, suddenly I'm the jerk. I try and act neutral, im the boring weird fatass. If i act like myself, I'm weird, I'm unfunny and I'm probably the one that they'll most likely betray. Hold up... Someone's knocking on my door. Okay, I'm back. It was that dude from the beginning of the post. He came to me asking for a fight. Apparently someone had spread rumors i talked behind his back. I incisted on him coming in for a beer and stuff. The guy broke my beer glass. It was a gift from my aunt... We talked. I told him it was all fake talk. He didn't believe a single word. I stood up for myself and said "Well instead of running away this time, again, just tell me you hate me, you don't want me as a friend and fucking get it over with. If you tell all that, it'll hurt much less than if you just gave me the silent treatment, like you did all those times before." He stood up smashed it in the ground and went away. I didn't even shout the thing. I said it calmly, just so i keep the friend vibe... I... I think i shouldn't post this. Maybe i will... Maybe i won't... If you made it this far, thank you, Internet Stranger. No, i really do. It means a lot to me you took the time to read this thing. I know people are gonna think I'm a coward and such. Okay. Think of it like that. I can't stop you from thinking a certain way. I respect every single opinion. Even if i disagree with it. I'll take the time to talk with random people in need. I even play videogames with some. If you're in the mood to talk or play, comment down. I'll give you my usernames and stuff.
. I got only one true friend on my side but I know what ever happens he is my friend. Other people I like or be with could be around me but did not have to. And I'm okay with that... I hate those people which are only around me or friendly to me if they need something... I really hate this it's so fu#&ing wrong...