Severin678 has a lot of good points and wise advice. I've found that every person's journey and life is different, but there are some very basic human conditions that we all have, and one of those is "to love and to be love", and the other one is "the need for acceptance."
As for finding people and attempting to answer your questions, I'll do a bit to tell you my story, and hopefully you can take some bits that resonate with you.
I've never had luck with online dating. I've had plenty of dates, an occasional hook up, and a couple small relationships that didn't last, but none of the truly substantial relationships I've had have come about through online dating. I tried free ones, pay ones, and the results were all negligible. Now, other people will tell you exactly the opposite; some people have had great luck, some have found their wive/husband online, etc, etc. So, results from online dating will vary! I found a huge component to dating was where I lived and the type of people around me.
Now, I think the wisest thing I did whilst single was make a huge list of what I wanted in another person. See, we all put the same things: funny, smart, good looking, honest...blah, blah, blah. But I mean, make a specific list. I got to 50 criteria on my list. It wasn't easy, and after about 10 things, I kinda stalled out, so it took a while and I really had to wrack my brain. I did different categories, like Personality, Physique, Likes/Dislikes, Lifestyle, Sexual Compatibility, etc.
The whole process felt rather self-centered and superficial, but here's the catch. It gave me a gauge for when I met someone to really and truly know how compatible we were, AND it gave me some goals with which to live my life. If I wanted someone to be fit, then I'd better be fit as well. If I wanted someone who had a good relationship with their family, then I had better have a good relationship with mine. And the whole works...they need to be confident, then I had to be confident, and all the way through that list. It basically gave me a compass with which to live my life; if I wanted to date someone truly fantastic, then I had to be fantastic as well!
The other bit for me (that was insanely hard to do) was to simply and truly not mind being single. I'm dating someone now, going on 3 years, but I has single (by and large) for 10 years before meeting her. Plus, I didn't even intend to meet her! I was in grad school and wrapped up with the university. But, I really believe a huge part for me was what I did during those 10 years. I looked at myself in a very critical way and focused on personal change and growth. It wasn't easy, but the payoff was good!
I really hope this helps! If you have any questions or other bits, just let me know! You'll be fantastic!