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<blockquote data-quote="severin678" data-source="post: 8020" data-attributes="member: 1448"><p>It's a long, slow road man. I've been pretty fortunate to meet a lot of great people at bars and through work, but the absolute deal breaker I've found with meeting women is a lack of confidence. Being too self conscious is the real killer - think of it this way; would you want to be with someone who is too worried about what you'd think of them to conduct a meaningful conversation with you? The same holds true of the person you're looking to connect with. So I'd suggest first figuring out what it really is that you feel like you're missing being alone (not just sex - something more like talking about literature, some kind of athletic activity, video games, etc) and really exploring that. The dating websites are great for finding hookups or whatever (as are sex workers - don't scoff before considering seriously whether or not that's really just what you want), but you have to remember that people are people. Life is long, and there a lots of long periods of boredom that people are looking for someone who shares enough similar interests to kill that boredom with - the kicker is picking out what things you're most passionate about that you most want to pass your time talking about/doing with someone else. Once you find a forum, or express your desires clearly enough on dating sites or with people you already know or work with, that kind of thing naturally falls in place. It's sounds trite, but find yourself and then be yourself - don't put on airs, because that's immediately sniffed out innately by others and just as quickly perceived as a lack of self-confidence.</p><p></p><p>It also doesn't hurt if you're physically fit, sadly - but that said, I've been plump for most of my life and what keeps my self confidence up (which, again, is innately picked up upon) is distance running and biking. Both things are super cheap to do, and provided you don't drink as much beer as me, it'll pretty much force you to become thin regardless of what you eat. Though I would caution to start slow (Hal Higdon's half marathon training plans are a great start).</p><p></p><p>Anyway, hope that helps!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="severin678, post: 8020, member: 1448"] It's a long, slow road man. I've been pretty fortunate to meet a lot of great people at bars and through work, but the absolute deal breaker I've found with meeting women is a lack of confidence. Being too self conscious is the real killer - think of it this way; would you want to be with someone who is too worried about what you'd think of them to conduct a meaningful conversation with you? The same holds true of the person you're looking to connect with. So I'd suggest first figuring out what it really is that you feel like you're missing being alone (not just sex - something more like talking about literature, some kind of athletic activity, video games, etc) and really exploring that. The dating websites are great for finding hookups or whatever (as are sex workers - don't scoff before considering seriously whether or not that's really just what you want), but you have to remember that people are people. Life is long, and there a lots of long periods of boredom that people are looking for someone who shares enough similar interests to kill that boredom with - the kicker is picking out what things you're most passionate about that you most want to pass your time talking about/doing with someone else. Once you find a forum, or express your desires clearly enough on dating sites or with people you already know or work with, that kind of thing naturally falls in place. It's sounds trite, but find yourself and then be yourself - don't put on airs, because that's immediately sniffed out innately by others and just as quickly perceived as a lack of self-confidence. It also doesn't hurt if you're physically fit, sadly - but that said, I've been plump for most of my life and what keeps my self confidence up (which, again, is innately picked up upon) is distance running and biking. Both things are super cheap to do, and provided you don't drink as much beer as me, it'll pretty much force you to become thin regardless of what you eat. Though I would caution to start slow (Hal Higdon's half marathon training plans are a great start). Anyway, hope that helps! [/QUOTE]
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